| Anti-clockwise. |
[Friday
November 6th, 2009 at
12:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
I feel that time is turning back, like i'm returning to my past. :O
Changing for the better.
Am i really changing for the better?
There are so many areas that i should improve on.
However, as i strive to make this changes, i'll get lost.
In fact, i am lost.
I don't really know who i am anymore.
Who is Ivan, and how is Ivan like?
Yeah, i know i told others that, we do not go and find who we really are but rather we make effort and shape ourselves to the person we want, cause that's what we really are.
Am i making sense?
I don't feel like i'm behaving like myself.
I feel like i'm just an empty body moving around.
I can be much better than this, but what's stopping me?
Breaking barriers, probably one of the hardest value for me to overcome.
|
|
|
| Changes. |
[Friday
October 30th, 2009 at
11:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
Gotten back my promo results.
Not so good, but yeah i still get promoted.
Time to reflect.
I need to change.
I need to change to be better and be a better achiever.
Yes, i need to stop being so vulgar.
I need to be more aware of people's feelings.
I need to be kind again. I need to be that good guy.
Well, i just suddenly don't feel like blogging out my thoughts.
Weird. Hah.
Well, ivan just know that, you jolly well remember 29/10/09.
and remember it hard. Do not forget and do not make the same mistake.
Learn how to aim high, and learn to uphold the true montfortian value. "Age Quod Agis."
Actions speak louder than words.
I'll blog another day then.
There's something to learn everyday, i hope i do remember it for life.
I will go the distance.
|
|
|
| Why. |
[Wednesday
October 7th, 2009 at
7:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
Yay promos are over.
I really hope i can promote and my efforts won't go down the drain. damn.
Well, i know i didn't put in my best efforts to do the H1 subjects, and now i'm afraid.
My H2 subjects, maths was fine just that some tough questions here and there.
Physics was easy but i can't do! thanks to maths which made me braindead and unable to think.
Chem was easy too, but insufficient time to complete. :( damn.
Oh well, hope for the best.
Anyway, i found out there are stalkers that are able to find my blog. so yeah, i guess my blog ain't much of a secret anymore. HAHAHA.
Aye, something's troubling me.
Too bad i can't say what, but it's bugging me real bad.
It's driving me abit crazy. blah.
So i tried running, literally , and maybe it'll get off my mind.
But i guess i was wrong, it is still stuck in my head.
Oh well, i hope it clears soon before my birthday. hehe.
Anyway, i need to run more!! A little run and my leg's all jelly and weak.
Urgh, need to train more for Nike Human Race and NAPFA. hahaha. oh well.
Gosh, i hate post exams period / holiday / my room.
I always feel emo. :/ damn it. evil room! hahahaha.
Ivan, don't be that asshole.
Smile, you fool.
|
|
|
| Weak. |
[Tuesday
August 25th, 2009 at
7:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Creep - Radiohead |
] |
Goodness.
Today as i was walking home, i suddenly felt super weak.
My whole body felt like jelly and it felt like i could just stop and lie on the floor, immobilized. Haha
Okay, maybe too dramatic but yeah it felt super weak that i really dont feel like moving.
And i also had cold sweat.
Weird, i'm still feeling weak but no cold sweat.
Aye, back to study. But dinner first!
|
|
|
| World Of Warcraft : Cataclysm |
[Saturday
August 22nd, 2009 at
9:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
NEW EXPANSION OF WOW.
enough said.
I'm losing my mind and my life. Goodness!
1 month to promos! study hard!
Stop thinking about WoW Ivan!
|
|
|
| Mind Over Body. |
[Wednesday
August 12th, 2009 at
11:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
Determination.
Discipline.
Tolerance.
I need to be stronger. Mentally, spiritually, physically.
|
|
|
| I've received the call. |
[Monday
August 10th, 2009 at
6:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
warcraft songs. haha i'm a geeek |
] |
The call has been sounded.......
And i have received the call.
I can feel it flowing through my veins, empowering my body.
I'm going to lose my "life"
and return to Azeroth.
Yes, the call. The Call of the Crusade!
Aye abit dramatic but yeah, to summarize what i said, i'm going to play WoW again!
Well until after Promos. Hahahaha. :D
LAME IS BACK!! But shifted to another realm and new faction and new guild.
I'm gonna be a horde~ FOR THE HORDE BABY!!
I can feel it already. Raids, instances, quests and of course FUN.
I can't wait. To go into that world once again.
I know i sound so much like a geek, but who cares. WoW is fun. :)
Well, first thing first. Have to study and score well for my promos!
I MUST PASS PROMOS. AND I WILL PLAY WOW.
Loads to do during hols i guess hehehe.
Oh yeah, had Thanksgiving concert on friday. Was nice and the teachers were amazing. :)
Yesterday, i went for National Day Parade with some of my jc friends.
I loved the marching and the fireworks and not forgetting the goodie bag too! Hehehe.
Time to study!! HEHE.
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW
Are you up for the challenge?
|
|
|
| Journey. |
[Saturday
July 25th, 2009 at
12:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 irritated |
] |
Ahhhhhh!
I'm changing! :( for the worse.
I feel that i start to lose my temper more often.
I feel that i have violent thoughts often.
I feel that i'm changing for the worse.
Sigh. This sucks. I have to start and change direction.
I must get myself back. I must not be a loser. Hah.
Yes, i know. I've been saying "oh i want my old ivan back.".
I guess now, i don't want it back cause i know i just can't get it.
But all i can say is that, now, i want to craft and shape myself.
My future is in my hands, i control my life, i decide who i want to be.
Metamorphosis.
|
|
|
| Pick yourself up. |
[Wednesday
July 1st, 2009 at
11:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Karma Police - Radiohead |
] |
The greatest enemy js yourself..
Finally gotten back all of my MYE results today.
Well, i did very very badly. Sigh.
GP : S
Physics :D
Chemistry : D
Maths: U
Econs: U
Chinese:U
Overall points : 27.5
Points needed to promote: 35.
Sigh i need to buck up really.
I need to really put in more effort and do well in Promos to pull this score up and in the end being able to get promoted.
Well, i kind of expected the results to be something like that anyway.
But after getting my chemistry paper today, i feel totally crushed.
All my determination to study just disappeared.
However, i also feel the urge to speed up my study and hope my brains think faster and process the methods faster.
How ironic. :/
Anyway, i feel totally down right now.
Feel like giving up, but no i'm not gonna.
Hopefully, i'll get rid of this feeling by today.
Tomorrow must spend my time wisely.
I need to spend my time wisely and use it beneficially over the long weekends.
Aye, i can do it! I must do it and i will do it.
Stop procrastinating, fool.
For a minute there, i lost myself. I lost myself.
|
|
|
| Another meaningful thing. |
[Friday
June 12th, 2009 at
2:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
busy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Don't believe the truth - Oasis |
] |
Aye! Ignatius tagged me this note. Rather interesting and meaningful.
I'm amazed that i know some of the answers from that guy's questions via my own "knowledge/experience". :)
Anyway, a little update on how i'm doing. Having holidays now, kinda enjoying.
Need more time. hahaha. as usual. I need to study more and work harder. Results ain't that good.
Aye, i must not give up. :)
Kay now enjoy this wonderful conversation. :)
This is an excellent conversation between 'God' and an unknown ' - 'Me'. I don't know as to who has been the composer of such an interesting and captivating conversation ; but has he/she has definitely put in good amount of thought into crafting the same. *
Those who don't believe in God, may also find it worth reading once. Enjoy and Think ! *
God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in
the midst of something.
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results.Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was notexpecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you
are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit.
That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that
experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and
endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes
provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you road ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, 'why me?' When they prosper, they never ask 'Why me'. Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not
merely a process of discovery but a process of co-creation. You are my co-creator.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.
Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. 'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!
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